September 18, 2007

When you think your friends are joking
but your pants are brown and soaking:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.

148 comments:

Ron L. Good said...

Stumbled onto your hilarious blog site! Here's one of my favorites...

Some people think it's funny,
But it's really wet and runny!
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Feel free to use it, if you already haven't. Thanks for the laughs!

http://frankdiddly.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jules Beesley said...

When you're sliding into third,
and you feel a juicy turd:
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

When your stomach is turning
And your butthole is burning
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

I haf a gewd 1 uf mi own.

When you're heading into first
and you feel your insides burst,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!!

Anonymous said...

EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's

"When you're sliding to first
and you feel your seams burst
Diarrhea."

Another good one is

"When you're climbing a ladder
and you feel a lose splatter

Diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

"When you're riding in your Chevy and you feel something heavy"

is always a classic

or

"When you're trying to brush your teeth and you feel it underneath"

Anonymous said...

when you're anus has corrosion
cause you belt that brown explosion
diarrhea, diarreha.

Anonymous said...

when your sitting on a plane
and you start to moan from pain
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

though you clench with all your mite, there's still no end in sight

Anonymous said...

when you just downed your last imodium, but your still stuck at the porcelain podium

Anonymous said...

when you sit down feeling yuck, and hark! you hear a barking duck... Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

are you canadian? 'barking duck'?

Anonymous said...

How about:

When you're climbing up a ladder,
and you feel a little splatter!
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

When you're standing on a stoop,
and you see some juicy poop!
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

I can't stop laughing, please keep it up!
xoxo

Anonymous said...

When you're running home,
and you butt starts to foam
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

J said...

When you feel your tummy bubble
and your ass says 'Here comes trouble...'
Diarrhea, diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

When taking it in the butt
leads to rumblin in the gut,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

what about
when your sitting on the jon
and the toilet papers gone
be a man
use your hand
my friend taught me that

Anonymous said...

when your insides start to melt
and you can't undo your belt

Anonymous said...

if you are handicap
and you don't know when you crap:
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

if you were parylized
would you even realize?
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

when you're in the kitchen cookin
and you hope noone was lookin:
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

when you thinks it's just the toots
but you're filling up you're boots:
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

if your toilet's getting tired
cuz the milk you drank's expired:
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you're sitting in a jury
and you're kind of in a hurry:
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

if you're losing all your friends
cuz you have to wear 'Depends':
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

when your only self-affliction
is a laxative addiction:
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

when the source of your frusteration
is liquid defecation:
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

if poop consumes your life
and you've even lost your wife:
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

been at it for an hour
and by now you need a shower:
diarrhea, diarrhea

(last 12 by Hose, Ape, and Cherry)

Anonymous said...

OMG, too funny! I have been trying to explain the diarrhea song to my 11 and 9 year old sons for months and they just didn't grasp the hilarity of it. I'm a 37-year-old woman and I just Googled the Diarrhea Song - that's funny stuff. Anyway, in addition to my rambling, I do have a contribution. No idea why this sticks in my head, but the boys used to sing it at the bus stop:

It's runny and it's gross
But's it's really good on toast
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.

I know, Gnarly! Thanks for keeping the song alive.

JAG said...

when you're sitting on the toilet
and your shit looks like you boiled it
diarrhea, diarrhea


when you're sittin' in class
and it oozes out your ass
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're lookin' at your date
and you see her pants inflate
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When your insides start to bubble
And you know that you're in trouble
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!

When you're holding 'til it hurts
And you start to feel the spurts
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!

When you're clenching 'til you shake
And it pours out like a lake
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!

Anonymous said...

When it's truly hit and miss,
If it's gas or of it's piss:
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

Can't believe I haven't seen the one that introduced me to the song in first grade:

When you're sitting in a boat
And you're feeling something float

Maxine McLelland said...

when you're climbing up a latter
And you hear something splatter
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

Getting up to bat and you hear something splat
Running by first and you feel something burst
Sliding into second and you can't wait a second
Sliding into third and your plants are full of turd
Sliding into home and your pants are fool of foam.

Anonymous said...

Falling in a pit and your pants are full of shit.

froglenz said...

i googled it too to tell my girlfriend the song heres my bit

when youve drank a keg and its runnig down ur leg,
and
you think of something funny and feel some thing runny

Anonymous said...

I"VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS!

Anonymous said...

When you're sitting on a cushion
And you're feeling something mushin'
Diarrhea (cha, cha, cha) Diarhhea


This is what we sang in my family!

Anonymous said...

When you're standing on the stage,
and your bowels disengage,
Diarrhea, chaa chaa chaa, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you're sitting in a yurt,
and your kishkes start to hurt,
Diarrhea, chaa chaa chaa, diarhea

Anonymous said...

When you're at your desk at school,
and something brown starts to pool,
Diarrhea, (cha,cha,cha), Diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

when your sittin' on the pot
and you feel something hot
Diarrhea Diarrhea

When your jumpin on the tramp
and you feel something damp
Diarrhea Diarrhea

When your drinkin' a slushie
and you feel something mushie
Diarrhea Diarrhea

When your walkin' in the bush
and you feel something push
Diarrhea diarrhea

Mama Mia I Have Diarrhea

Unknown said...

this is one of my favorite kiddie songs ever! when we used to sing the "diarrhea..." part, it was always followed by the ickiest juicy fart noise you could make with your mouth...for example: when your sittin in the tub and it fills with the butt mud...diarrhea (farty noise 2x), diarrhea (farty noise 2x).

Anonymous said...

When you're climbing up a mountain
and your butt begins to fountain...
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!

When you want to join the Navy
but your shorts are full of gravy
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!

When you're riding on a camel
and your underwear's in shambles...
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!

When you're sitting in a meeting
and your shorts just took a beating
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!

When you're celebrating Hannukah
and your butt sounds like a harmonica
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!


Ba-dump bump! I'm here all week folks! Try the veal! No wait, don't it's cruel...

Anonymous said...

When you're standing in the kitchen,
And your sphincter starts a-twitchin'
Diarrhea, cha cha cha, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

Lots of pain but no strain,
Just sit down and let it drain:
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you feel that oozy gas,
And it's comin' out your ass...
Diarrhea (cha,cha,cha) Diarrhea!

Anonymous said...

When reading this makes you snort
and chocolate milk comes out your shorts
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you're shopping for a pumpkin
And you're feeling something lumpin'
diarrhea, cha cha cha, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you're lying on the sand
and you're swimsuit winds up tanned
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

I totally sang this as a kid. Here's another verse:

When you feel it in your tushy
And your pants are kinda squishy
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you get home from the buffet And your butt cheeks start to sway
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.

Stan said...

When you're standing on your porch
and your fart becomes a torch,
diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

pooo

Anonymous said...

When you're reading Shakespeare's life
and you feel a gastric strife,
Diarrhea, cha cha cha, diarrhea!

Anonymous said...

When you're eating having holiday turkey,
and your pants are brown and murky,
diarrhea, cha cha cha, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When its running down your leg,
And it feels like an egg!
Diarrhea, cha, cha, cha.

Anonymous said...

lmao

Anonymous said...

This might work:

If the CDC's inspectin'
What's been coming out your rectum,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Keep up the good work. This brought back childhood memories!

Anonymous said...

If it's liquidy like soup;
Not your normal firm brown poop.
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

When you start to
shiver and it comes
out like a river
diarrhea diarrhea

Anonymous said...

it shoots out your bum
like a bullet from a gun
diarrhea diarrhea

Anonymous said...

Continuing off the car ones (i.e. the classic Chevy, and so forth)

When you're riding in the Camry,
And you feel that steamy butt pee,
Diarrhea, diarrhea

Anonymous said...

I can tell by the smell
that you are not feeling well!
diarrhea. diarrhea.
No pain, no strain
Just sittin on the drain
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!

Anonymous said...

Ate some prunes, had some gas
now its spewing out my ***

Anonymous said...

When walikng to check the mail,
you leave a dark brown trail!
Diarrhea, Diarrhea!

Anonymous said...

If you wipe with dental floss
because you ate some secret sauce
diarrhea! Diarrhea!

poop said...

when you just had some toast and ur right about to boast diarrhea

wbjones said...

here's one

when people start to wink
and then your pants start to stink
diarrhea, diarrhea

Luke said...

Your ass is sloppin' while you moan,
I think you're dealin' with the Crohn's:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

WHEN YOU'RE QUARANTINED FOR SWINE FLU CAUSE YOU COULDN'T CONTAIN YOUR POO POO... DIARRHEA, DIARRHEA.

Anonymous said...

When you think you've had enough
And you feel another puff!
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

"When you´re going to school,
and you feel a slimy pool,
DIARRHEA DIARRHEA!

Anonymous said...

NASA shot you to the moon,
but your bowl thinks its too soon,
diarrhea, diarrhea!

Anonymous said...

These things are just a big fat waist of time and a very bad influence on little children just the brains of the people that wrote all this crap!!!!!!

miguel said...

when you shift in reverse
and you feel something burst
diarrhea, diarrhea

Leona said...

hey who is this song by?

Anonymous said...

When You're Sittin Home
And You Get That Funny Feelin'
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

No strain, no pain
Just sit and let it rain
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you think you're gonna spew
But your ass shoots out fondue
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

You know your in trouble
when your hear something bubble

Diarreha

Anonymous said...

When your climbing into the attic,
and your bum goes automatic!
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Juz said...

Bwha ha ha ha
all the way from Cape TOwn.
:)
Juz

Scott McElhinnie said...

When you're listening to "My Sharona" and you see a brown corona! Diarrhea Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

... and as I remember it, the last line was always, "Diarrhea *prute prute*, Diarrhea *prute prute*", where the "prute prute" is supposed to be the sound of a fart!

ox_belle_ox said...

when you eat cranberry crumble
and your ass starts to rumble
diareah diareah

Myra and Carly said...

We tried to sing this song in the car a few days ago with the kids. We wondered if we could do a search for the song and stumbled onto your hilarious site. Thank you for making us laugh our guts out.

Anonymous said...

3> ¡¡¡ɥɐɥɐɥɐɥɐɥ ¡¡¡¡¡uʍopǝpısdn ƃuıdʎʇ ɯı ssǝupooƃ ʎɯ ɥo

brookeyyy said...

when your settin on the pot and you see a brown dot

diarrhea, diarrea

when your settin in a jacoozi and you feel something sqooshi

diarrhea. diarrhea

Unknown said...

when you're in a limo and you're bowel become uncontrolled ..Diarrhea Diarrhea
when you says "I'm Okay" as poops ran down your legs ..Diarrhea Diarrhea
when you're in a tight dress and you're crapping at your best..Diarrhea Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

when your on a frown and you see something brown
diarrhea , diarrhea!


when you see something green and its very very mean
diarrhea, diarrhea!!

=))))

Anonymous said...

when you're out on the go,
and you really got to blow.
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I came accross your site.

LOVE IT!

Anonymous said...

Came across your site...

LOVE IT!

r said...

When you're walking in the city
people look at you with pity
diarrhea
diarrhea ---a person

Anonymous said...

if youre a texan your cheeks will be a flexin

Anonymous said...

We have been annoying our parents with these ridiculously funny poems!!!! Thank you very much!!!We haven't stoped laughing!!! PLESASE carry on!!!

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

When you're waiting for the shuttle and your ass begins to bubble... diarrhea diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

when youre cooking a poptart
and you cant hold back a fart

peter keightley said...

It comes from your bum, like a bullet from a gun.

Anonymous said...

Its really funny.

Anonymous said...

When you're walking into work
and your butt begins to squirt,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea


When you're sitting on a plane
and your butt begins to drain,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

John Smith said...

123it trickles down your leg
and it smells like rotten egg
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

In my poop I slide
but the bathroom's occupied
Diarrhea (uh, uh), Diarrhea (uh, uh)

Anonymous said...

Sticks to you bum
Like dirty bubblegum
Diarrhea diarrhea

Coming out your Bum
like a formula one
Diarrhea diarrhea

When your swimming in a lake
and you see a brown snake
Diarrhea diarrhea Thanks guys

Anonymous said...

When your stomach's feelin' cruddy
and your drawers are brown and bloody
diarrhea *thppt-thppt*
diarrhea *thppt-thppt*

Anonymous said...

When your Dad leaves the room and you hear a big boom! Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

It runs, runs, through your buns.
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!

Unknown said...

When you're standing in the store
Over a puddle on the floor
diarrhoea diarrhoea

Unknown said...

You know you're toes are curling when your asshole is hurling

Anonymous said...

When you can't sit still
and your farts smell ill...
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you're sliding into second and you need a disinfectant

Anonymous said...

When your trying to take a shit
And your colan throws a fit

Anonymous said...

When you flush it down the drain and it always leaves a stain
Diarrhea...
Diarrhea.

Unknown said...

Dont be sterile use a berile

Anonymous said...

It is so funny

Anonymous said...

It is so funny

Anonymous said...

I put my hand in my pocket
and it shot out like a rocket
Diarrhea Diarrhea

Unknown said...

When your slidin into home and your shorts are full of foam diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When your ass is shooting feces
and you wonder when it ceases

Diarrhea, Diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When you take a bath
And the water gets way too dark
Diarrhea, thhp thhp diarreah

Anonymous said...

When someone steals your plane so you fart your way to main diarrhea

Unknown said...

Stop

Anonymous said...

when you think you're all set and you feel something wet, Diarrhea diarrhea

Anonymous said...

when your friends give a frown
'cause your pants are wet and brown
diarrhea, diarrhea

Cowles said...

Some People Think It's Gross
But It's Really Good On Toast!
Diarrhea, uh uh Diarrhea uh uh

Anonymous said...

It's brown and it's runny and it really smells quite funny, d d

Anonymous said...

Diarrhea,
People think it's funny
But it's really brown and runny,
Diarrhea!

(My dad always sings this whenever poop is mentioned. Such a dad.)

Unknown said...

When you thought it was your nose but it's going on below diarrhea diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When your stomach's feeling queasy
And you really are uneasy
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!

When your poop is like a slushie
And your gut is feeling mushy
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!

Anonymous said...

When you feel in your bum
And you know you need to run
It's diarrhe diarrhea!

Anonymous said...

When your belly's feeling bloated and your undie's shit coated
diarrhea diarrhea

when it shoots out your tushie and splatters on your pussy
diarrhea diarrhea

when it slithers out your back and it gets all in your crack
diarrhea diarrhea

when the smell is fucking wicked and it comes out like liquid
diarrhea diarrhea

Anonymous said...

When your sliding into first and poop on your cleats. Diarrhea? Diarrhea!

When your sliding into second and you can't stop pooping on your cleats!!!
Diarrhea. Yep, diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

When you squeeze one out the crack but boy you wish you could take it back! Diarrhea cha! cha! cha! Diarrhea cha! cha! cha!

Anonymous said...

When you squeaks one out the cheeks and the reeks lasts for weeks! Diarrhea CHA! CHA! CHA! Diarrhea CHA! CHA! CHA!

Anonymous said...

When your playing capture the flag and you feel your pants sag

Anonymous said...

When your sitting in a bush
and you feel a little push
diarrhea, diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

Sitting on the Commode
Then you colon just explodes
diarrhea, diarrhea.

Cyberpope said...

Floating down the gutter
On a piece of bread & butter. . .
Diarrhea, diarrhea

That overwhelming smell...
You think you're in Hell. . .

First you start to cough
Then you feel something's off. . .

You're hoping to get fucked
But you're really out of luck. . .

You're raising quite the stink
At your local skating rink

What more is there to do
When your shoes are full of poo?

Unknown said...

When your sitting in the park and you hear and smell a butthole fart Diahrea ooh ooh Diarhea

Unknown said...

When your looking at the ground and you feel something warm and brown diarrhea Diarhiea

Unknown said...

When you start your hands a clapping and you feel your butt cheeks a crappin diarrhea cha cha cha diarhea